to the check that came from the church....from the family that brought over food from their co-op and an envelope of cash that I know they needed themselves, to the teacher that barely knows us yet paid our electric bill for two months....from the family that offered to take a loan from their 401k to help us along (but didn't even need to because God provided through His church!) to the violin instructor who put us on scholarship for as long as necessary....the friends that brought over meals, the school that said hold off on paying tuition, that sister that sent Publix gift cards, the friend that we know overpaid Mike for his help on a job, the friend that gave us a ham....I could go on and on and on. And as I drove home this morning reflecting on these things, the tears just ran down my face for miles as I was reminded of what my prayer was at the beginning of this journey. I had prayed and asked the Lord to change us through this. Shape us, mold us, make us who You want us to be, I said. This morning, I realized that although there was no one lightning bolt moment where Mike suddenly starting talking like Joel Osteen (note:sarcasm), and I have not suddenly become a sweet, submissive, patient Proverbs 31 woman in one fell swoop, we are different. And when I say we, I am so thankful that I mean "WE". Mike and I. Neither one of us is who we ought to be, and still I sometimes don't know exactly who or "where" we are, but we have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. We have seen the hardness of our own hearts and the goodness of others as they give, care and love us because they love the Lord. We are humbled down to our toes, we are softened, we are changed. And although the hard part of me wants to not write this and to not share this out of pride or false humility or whatever self-absorbed emotion that may be, the changed and softened part of me remembers that Jesus said in Luke 19:40 that if His people would not praise Him for His works, that the rocks would cry out in praise instead. May I become softer each day, more faithful to praise Him, may I never force the rocks to cry out instead. To all of you who have loved us through this, "thank you" will never be enough. You have changed my life, and I love you!
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